


Fire Sings in Hearts Like These

by wolffes



Series: evergreen squad [1]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23192677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolffes/pseuds/wolffes
Summary: Lynali sighed and swiveled around to face him, arms still crossed. “He almost killed you, Turret, what do you want me to say?”“I just want to understand, Nali. I’ve never seen that kind of anger in you before. What’s happening in that head of yours? Where is this coming from?”Closing her eyes, Lynali tilted her head back, letting it bump into the wall. “I don’t know. Seeing him brought back bad memories. And like I said,” she paused, opening her eyes and looking back at Turret, “he was going to kill you.”
Relationships: Original Clone Trooper Character(s) & Original Character(s)
Series: evergreen squad [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1667407
Comments: 12
Kudos: 9





	Fire Sings in Hearts Like These

**Author's Note:**

> Woohoo my first fic uploaded!  
> This takes place after an incident that's a big turning point in Lynali's life that really makes her come to terms with her situation and her emotions and forces her to take action and get control over both her emotions & the Force, both of which she had been repressing pretty hard up to this point.  
> This was originally much shorter and less angsty but I'm the known angst train conductor so I had to squeeze some more in here.  
> The title is a lyric from The Unlikely Candidates' "[Final Destination](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfN4ptstFz4)" which gives me big Lynali x Turret vibes (and I don't know how to title things).

They hadn’t spoken since it happened. After Lynali blacked out, Scoop pulled her from the battlefield and Turret led the others to finish off the remaining droids. Jana was the first person she saw after coming to. They were back on the Jedi cruiser, the sisters being the only two in the room. Scoop wasn’t even there. Lynali had hoped the person by her bedside when she awoke would be Turret, but she understood he had a job to do. Other people to look after. Scoop would’ve been a great second choice, but Jana? Jana was the last person Lynali wanted there. And for good reason.

The Jedi was very concerned about her sister’s rage and pain: _You haven’t been coping well. I’m worried about your mental health. You need to get control over the Force. It’s eating you up. I want to take you back to Coruscant to talk with the Jedi Council._ Bullshit. Lynali didn’t want the Jedi Council to decide her fate. There was a reason she didn’t go down that path. She respected them and what they did, but there was no way she could live like them. These past few days were proof of that.

Lynali had always let her emotions get the best of her, the result of being left to fend for herself at such a young age. The dark side of the Force fed off of strong emotions, but more specifically strong _uncontrolled_ emotions. The ones shoved deep down in attempts to forget about them. The ones that could break themselves free without warning. Lynali knew it wasn’t good, but she had been doing it for so long she didn’t know how to stop, and she surely didn’t know she was falling susceptible to the dark side. So much about the Force was a mystery to her. A blanket of fog swirling around her mind. She spent her whole life running from it.

She stood in the doorway of the barracks now, back turned to Turret, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed. Everyone else was going about their work like nothing had happened, but Lynali knew they were thinking about what they saw. What she did. Datum and Drifter walked past, giving her a curt nod but not saying anything before looking away. Lynali couldn’t help but think she ruined everything, that they were scared of her now. Scared of what she was capable of.

She sure was.

Turret was sitting hunched over on his cot. She could feel his gaze on the back of her head. “So, are we _not_ going to talk about how you force choked your Separatist ex-boyfriend?”

“There’s nothing to say,” Lynali mumbled, her words almost getting lost in the air.

“Really? Nothing about that strikes you as worth talking about?” Turret let out a sarcastic laugh. “I would at least like some context about your Separatist ex. And I realize I know jackshit about the Force and how that all works, but no offense, you’ve got to be in a real fucked up mindset to force choke someone.”

Lynali sighed and swiveled around to face him, arms still crossed. “He almost killed you, Turret, what do you want me to say?”

“I just want to understand, Nali. I’ve never seen that kind of anger in you before. What’s happening in that head of yours? Where is this coming from?”

Closing her eyes, Lynali tilted her head back, letting it bump into the wall. “I don’t know. Seeing him brought back bad memories. And like I said,” she paused, opening her eyes and looking back at Turret, “he was going to kill you.”

Turret let out a puff of air, rubbing both hands over the top of his head. “You could’ve used a blaster.”

She chewed on the inside of her cheek and looked away. He was right. There was no argument. She could’ve used her blasters but didn’t. The thing was, she didn’t know why she did what she did. It was almost like it had been involuntary. And that’s what scared her the most. “I don’t need you having this conversation with me, Turret. Okay? Jana already yelled at me enough about it. I don’t know why I did it. I didn’t even think about it. It just…” she took a shaky breath, blinking back tears, “happened.”

“Okay,” Turret said slowly, sitting up and pressing the palms of his hands into the top of the cot. “Can you at least open up about your relationship with this Separatist guy?”

“I already told you I didn't know he was a Separatist.”

“How do you not know something like that?"

Lynali pinched the bridge of her nose. “He was a spy, sent to get me to turn to their side.” She stared over at him, wondering what else she could say about the topic. It was something she was hoping to avoid bringing up altogether, but everything else about her past seemed to catch up to her. Her parents’ murder. Her being Force sensitive. Her sister being a Jedi. And now this. It was unavoidable, yet she kept repressing everything.

Turret spoke softly. “They knew you could use the Force.”

“And I'm not a Jedi, so they wanted to use that for their benefit.” Lynali let out a slight groan, scratching her forehead with the tip of her fingernail. All these memories kept flooding back all at once. The first time she met Jaqhas. The way he looked at her. The sound of his voice. How his breath felt on the back of her neck when they shared a bed. Everything was so different back then. And it was all a lie.

Lynali shivered.

Seeing him again during that fight was like whiplash, Jaqhas standing there in all his evil glory. Dark eyes glossed over with rage and violence. Scars littering his face and arms. Clothes clinging to his limbs a bit too tightly. When she really thought about it, they didn’t look that different. Lynali had her fair share of scars scattered across her body from a lifetime of fighting. Her clothes were torn in the same places as his: the knees of her pants, the hem of her shirt. They were both fighters. Both had the same powerful emotions mixed into their blood. The only difference was what and who they were fighting for. And maybe that was enough. As long as she fought for the Republic. As long as she was treading close enough to the light. But it was a damn thin line.

“I fell for his charm.” Her voice was barely audible. Lynali had to fight for the words to come out. Slowly and softly. She moved away from the wall and sat next to Turret, waiting a moment before continuing to speak. “I was alone and grieving. Jana had left to train as a Padawan. I couldn’t go home. I didn’t _have_ a home. I was on my own for so long that when he came along I was too quick to turn him into my safe place. I thought he was going to be someone reliable.” Lynali rested her elbows on her thighs and buried her face in her hands, her voice cracking as she spoke, almost laughing at herself. “I loved him. I really did, and I was stupid enough to think he felt the same way. I trusted him and he turned out to be just like those bastards who killed my parents.”

Lynali sat there, staring at the ground. Neither of them spoke or moved. She wanted to take the words back and start over, to say everything but not admit that she had loved Jaqhas. She hated herself for it. For loving a Separatist.

Eventually she sat back up, resting her head on Turret’s arm. They continued to sit in silence. Maybe there was nothing else to say. Maybe Lynali screwed everything up by opening her mouth and speaking honestly.

She needed to break the silence. “What was it you called him? _Shabuir_?”

Turret let out a soft and short laugh, ruffling his curls and glancing over at Lynali. “That’s right.”

Lynali smiled at the sound of his laugh. “Good. It’s what the bastard deserves.”

They fell silent again, but this time it was comfortable. Turret let his head rest atop Lynali’s and he grabbed her hand, his gloved fingers intertwining with hers. Lynali closed her eyes and focused on Turret’s breathing, trying to slow her own and match his rhythm.

“I didn’t...kill him, did I?” Lynali asked in a whisper. “Jana was avoiding the topic entirely.”

Turret inhaled deeply before letting the air back out his nostrils. “You didn’t kill him, no. I mean, you knocked him unconscious and probably gave him a damn good scare, but he’s alive. Jana took him in, I’m guessing to hand over to the Republic to keep as prisoner, but no one really knows what's happening with him.”

“And if they question him? And he talks about…"

“That’s not on you, Nali.”

Lynali let out a half-scoff-half-laugh. “Even if it’s not, I don’t need them questioning my loyalty to the Republic.”

“Why would they believe him?”

“Because he’d be telling the _truth_. They’d know I have a history with a Separatist and they’d know about the...Force incident. You can’t tell me that doesn’t add up to some incredibly sketchy conclusions.”

Turret hummed a little. “This is war. It's hard to know who you can trust.”

“Stop, Turret,” Lynali said, pulling her hand from his and scooting away. “You’re just trying to say the right things to make me feel better.”

“But what I’m saying is _true_.”

Lynali groaned, rubbing her forehead. “I know. I know you can never know who to trust. That’s the story of my whole fucking life and I just—” She cut herself off, not sure what to say. If there was anything else worth saying. Tears started to spill down her cheeks before she had the chance to look away. She wiped them with the back of her hand, staring at the wall on the other side of the room.

“Hey…” Turret slowly inching closer to Lynali. He waited for her to move to the end of the cot, farther away from him, but she didn’t move at all. Turret hesitantly wrapped his arms around her shoulders and once he did, she leaned into him, resting her cheek against his chestplate, sniffing.

“I’m so sorry if I've been untrusting, Turret. I’ve been screwed over too many times. Sometimes I'm not sure if I can even trust my own judgement. Especially now.”

Turret kissed the top of Lynali’s head and pressed his cheek against it, his next words spoken into her hair. “I know. You’re a good person, Nali. You choose every day not to turn away from what’s right. The Separatists already tried to get you to come to their side and they failed. Even if Jaqhas tells them about your history with him, they know you’re still with us. You’re with the Republic. Plus, you have a whole squad of troopers to back you up.”

Lynali smiled a little, pulling away from their hug. “I’ll always have my sergeant on my side.”

Turret’s brows pinched together. “Am I really just your sergeant?”

“Oh, come here.” Lynali pulled his head down so she could kiss his cheek, though the kiss mostly landed on his jawline instead. Her next words were mumbled against his skin, her eyes closed. “You’re too tall.” She could feel his cheek pull back with his smile.

“Maybe you’re too short.” Turret paused for a moment before speaking again. “Building trust takes time. I'm willing to wait however long it takes you to open up, but I want you to know that I trust you with my life, Nali. I’d be crazy not to.”

**Author's Note:**

>  _shabuir_ is an extreme Mando'a insult. Wookieepedia lists it as "'jerk', but much stronger"  
> All mentioned characters are my own! :^)


End file.
